Father’s Day thoughts…How to Build Memories….

19 Jun

I keep hearing about Prostate Cancer Screenings this weekend.  Please go for one, even if you are not a father.  Every man should get one, regardless of whether or not you are a father.  I watched my father die from this disease, alongside his other problem.  Dad had Alzheimer’s disease too.  I miss him.  It took the very essence of dad away.  He floated away in mind, body remaining with a debilitating tumor that gradually spread throughout his body.

How do we honor our parents?  I would like to hear from you about what you do.  Please post a comment.

My son has no real memory of when his grandfather was well.  That is what he tells me and THIS makes me sad because they really DID do a lot of things.  I can list them and pictiure we have document them.  We went on vacations with both of my parents, both my brothers and I when we were children. My son and I had gone with them during his earlier childhood years. Events such as learning to fly a kite, playing chess, riding dune buggies in Cape Cod, Masachusetts, learning how to ride a horse in Lenox, Massachusetts are some of these events that we shared with both of my parents.  These memories are special.  When you are at home with your family on Father’s Day take photographs.  Put them in a book and/or create a “memory wall” of enjoyable events so you and your family can remember the happy times.

My memories of Father’s Day as a child bring me back to a family get together at my grandparent’s home-dad’s parents.  This was in Brooklyn. New York which is where they lived.  Grandpa and dad would make a barbeque.  We would pick fresh figs that were growing on vines against the house.  Grandpa would take “heavenly hash” ice cream out of the “ice box”. Isn’t it funny what we remember??

I have an annual tradition and perhaps describing this will help you think of something that you can do, so I post it here for you. I plant a “memory garden”. The origin of this annual traditon,since dad died three years ago,  is that my brothers and I would help my father with his garden in the backyard.  We would go to the local farm and buy manure at a nearby farm..ugh!  that stunk which is probably why this stands out in my mind.  We would buy vegetable and flower seeds. l got home from the store, dad took out his gardening supplies and we would plant everything.  I mean everything!  Over the years, dad would grow vegetables like carrots, eggplant, squash, string beans, lettuce, tomatoes, peppers and a wide variety of herb plants.  the herbs were in the kitchen on the window sill.   I would go out and help dad weed.  Mom would make sure that I brought out something for dad to drink because he always got so hot tending to the garden.  One summer we went to the store and bought marigold seeds and he gave me a patch of earth outside the kitchen window. I would grow my flowers each year.  Dad also taught me to put beer in small tin cans -empty cat food containers.  We would bury the cans and eventually slugs would climb into the beer, rather than bother the plants and flowers. It was his natural extermination system!.

My memory garden – is my way of remembering dad and maybe this idea can jog your mind for ways that you can recall a father, grandfather who is not with us or how to build memories with one who is alive.  Part of having memories is making sure that you have time and opportunities to create them.  I always think that that was one of the special parts of growing up at home.  We as a family created memories!

So-tomorrow I am going to the store and buying vegetable plants, flower seeds, potting soil and perhaps a few pots.  Then – I will plant my garden and Father’s Day will not  just be one day; but, it will last all year long.  Actually – there is still a pepper that just budded on a plan that has been alive since dad died three years ago. He lives on…..

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